Circuit Breakers for the Mouth

An important part of training the mind is training your mouth. There seems to be a direct line between the two. For most people, there’s no circuit breaker. Whatever comes into your mind just goes straight out your mouth. That was Ajaan Suwat’s definition of somebody who was stupid.

You need to have a couple of checkpoints, a couple of circuit breakers, to make sure that what comes out your mouth really is useful. Just because something pops into your mind doesn’t mean that it’s worth saying.

In the Buddha’s terms, the checkpoints are: One, is it true? Two, is it beneficial? And then, three, is this the right time and place to say something pleasant? Or is it the right time, place to say something unpleasant?

The Buddha wasn’t in favor of the idea that unpleasant things are harmful. There are a lot of things you have to say to people, to point out their errors. They may not want to hear it but they have to hear it. Still, you have to make sure that your intention is good, that it is actually beneficial for them to hear these things—and, of course, that these things are true. As the Buddha listed the different possibilities of speech, the idea that something was not true but could be beneficial never occurred to him.

So. First order of business: Is it true? Then: Is it beneficial? Is it timely?

Ajaan Fuang would add one more test, which is: Is it necessary?

We live here as a group. We’re all meditating. One way of showing respect for one another’s meditation is to say things only when they really are necessary. There’s so much verbal pollution that gets in the way of getting the mind to settle down, so it’s good not to add to that verbal pollution.

So make sure you have a couple checkpoints, you have a couple circuit breakers in there. If something comes in the mind, thenbefore it comes out the mouth, you think about it: What will the consequences be of saying this?

Ajaan Fuang, again, said most people speak first and then think later—which is wrong. When you have to think later it’s usually about, “Why did I say that? How can I go back and undo that?” Or like people who type an email, or type a text message, and then press send—and then read the message.

Read the message first. Think about it. Sometimes sit on it for a day. Then send it. You’ll be less likely to cause yourself harm, less likely to cause harm to others.

We help keep the atmosphere around here as quiet as possible. We don’t have a vow of silence because one of the ways of developing right speech is to learn how to speak, when to speak, when not to speak. In so doing, you’re training the mind. If something is not true, or beneficial, or timely, you’re not going to say it, then why even think it? You begin to internalize these principles for your internal speech as well. And that, of course, helps quiet things down inside.

If you can get some control over your mouth, then you begin to get some control over your mind. So don’t believe the idea that if someone says something, you have to respond right away. Think about what you want to say. If you get a reputation for being slow, well maybe that can be part of your reputation for seeming to be wise. But if people look down on you for being slow, that’s their business. You want to make sure that what comes out your mouth is really worth listening to. People who are wise will appreciate that.