The Prison Break

One of the images that the ajaans like to use when they talk about the practice is that it’s like escaping from prison.

Nobody’s going to come and open the doors and let us out. We have to find our own way out. We have to have a strong desire to get out, but at the same time we have to be very meticulous. If our efforts to get out are too obvious, the wardens are going to get us. So, we have to be persistent but patient—very meticulous and very observant.

Fortunately, the Buddha gives us a map, so we can know where we have to dig a hole, how long it’s going to be. And he gives us the tools to dig.

As when we’re meditating right now: We’re trying to be mindful, alert, and ardent. Always keep one thing in mind. For instance, you keep the breath in mind. And keep in mind what you’ve learned from the past. You don’t have to keep running it through your mind, but have it available.

As for alertness: Make a survey of your body, make a survey of your mind. How does the body feel right now? Is it ready to settle down, or does it need some work, through using the breath? When we talk about the breath, it’s the flow of energy through the body. You might want to check to see that it’s flowing well. How is it in your chest? How is it in your back, down the spine? How is it in your arms and your legs? How is it in your head? How does the energy feel around your eyes, around your ears?

If it doesn’t feel good, what can you do to change it? You can make the breath longer or shorter. Or you can be conscious about relaxing the different muscles. Start with the muscles in your fingers, go up to the muscles in the palms of your hands, up your arms, all the way to the shoulders. Then start again down with the toes. Go up the feet, the legs, the pelvis, up the spine, around the ribcage, up through your neck, up into the head, the muscles of your face. Let everything feel open. Think of energy flowing freely around the body. You don’t have to push it. When things are open, it’ll flow on its own.

Now make a survey of your mind. What kind of mood are you bringing to the meditation? Does the mind need to be gladdened to be here? Think a bit about why it’s good to be here, settling down, trying to get the mind quiet. Then when other thoughts come in, you have a good argument. Say, “Not right now. I can think about those things some other time. Right now, it’s time to get quiet.”

If you’re worried about the future, tell yourself you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but you do know you’ll need qualities like mindfulness, ardency, and alertness. And you’re developing them right here.

As for things from the past, they’re gone. You should be facing forward as to what you can do right now, because what you’re experiencing right now is not totally shaped by the past. Some things are coming in from your past karma, but you have the choice to decide which potentials you’re going to focus on, how you’re going to focus on them, and how you’re going to shape them in the present.

If you couldn’t do this, there’d be no point in focusing on the present moment in the meditation. We focus here because this is where the action is. And we remind ourselves that we’re doing this because we do want to get out. This is the preliminary groundwork.

So, we’ve got some instructions from the Buddha, but there are also things we have to observe for ourselves. He may be able to provide us with a map of how we can dig out of the cell, and how we can make a tunnel that goes outside of the walls, but there are other things we’re going to have to observe. Like when the wardens come: What hours do they come? And what hours are there no wardens at all? When the wardens are not there, that’s when you can do your work. For that, you have to observe on your own.

So, it’s a meticulous job. If you try to rush it, the wardens will catch you. In other words, your defilements will catch you. They’ll put extra obstacles in your way, making it harder to get out. But if you’re not steady and consistent, then nothing’s going to happen. You’re going to stay in prison and never get out.

The wardens catching you means that your defilements take over the practice. You try to squeeze things. You’ve read that the jhanas are like this, so you try to squeeze your mind into a jhana mold. You’re supposed to gain these insights, so you squeeze it into an insight mold. Then you tell yourself you’ve attained this level; you’ve attained that level. That’s a recipe for going crazy.

Focus on the causes, and the attainments will come on their own. What you have to do is focus on the question that the Buddha said is the basic one we’ve got here: What are we doing that’s causing suffering? What are we doing that’s causing stress?

Don’t worry about the levels of jhana. Don’t worry about the different insights. Just ask yourself, “Where can I detect some stress right now, some disturbance in my concentration? Can I figure out what I’m doing to cause that disturbance?”

A question came up this morning about where to find the origination of a defilement. Do you have to run through all of the steps in dependent co-arising? Well, no. You’re not analyzing it in the abstract. You’re analyzing the problem to see, when a defilement comes up, what comes up with it right here, right now.

If you don’t catch it right here, right now, then you’re just going to be left with a memory, a guess. Our problem is that our observation of our mind is like a game of connect-the-dots. It’s just a series of dots on a piece of paper, and you can connect them in all kinds of ways, because you weren’t there to see how they were actually connected on their own. That’s why you have to be observant.

And be meticulous. Watch very carefully. You’re not in a rush. You’re going to do things step by step. Ajaan Fuang had a student one time. He wanted her to do some body contemplation, so he said, “Take all the hair off your head in your imagination, and then replant it.” Two minutes later, she said, “Okay, done.” He said, “No, that’s too fast. You can pull it out by handfuls if you want, but then when you replant it, you have to replant it one hair at a time.” Learn to be that meticulous, that precise, because it’s in the little things that the insights are going to come.

So, you’ve got to be very, very observant. That’s how you get out. You keep at this process, minding your own business, without any thought about the Dhamma-eye or the different levels of awakening or the different levels of jhana. You simply peel away any place where you find that you’re creating any stress or disturbance for yourself. You’ll find that you’ll break through.

The Buddha gives the image of a carpenter who’s got an adze. An adze is like a hammer, except that it has a blade at the end. It’s like a little axe. As he says, the handle will wear down. You know it’s wearing down because you’re using it every day. But when it’s going to break through, when it’s going to get broken, through all that friction of your hand, you don’t know ahead of time. But you do know that it will. And it comes from just doing what you’re supposed to do. Watch your mind, watch your breath. Any place there’s a disturbance, can you catch what you’re doing to cause that disturbance and let it go?

Behind all this is a very strong desire, but you have to learn how to temper it. When the Buddha talks about the bases for success, they start with desire, and he makes the point that if the desire is too strong, it gets in the way. If it’s too weak, it gets in the way. Of course, you have to focus it on the causes, not on the results.

But the fact that desire is there is nothing that you have to deny. Some people say that if you have a goal, there’s going to be a hidden sense of self in having a goal, and that gets in the way of awakening. Well, look at the Buddha. He was the most goal-oriented person you can imagine. He was so focused on the goal that he left his family. He tried every teacher he could find who seemed reliable. When he wasn’t satisfied, he went off on his own, tried austerities, almost starved himself to death. When he realized that that wasn’t going to lead to the goal, he looked for another alternative, found it, followed it all the way. Became the Buddha.

And even then, after his awakening, he set more goals for himself: to establish the Dhamma and Vinaya so that it’d last for a long time. That was a huge project. It took him 45 years. He let it go only on the night he was passing away.

So, there’s nothing wrong with having a goal.

The same with trying to get the mind into concentration: We read in the description of mindfulness about the various feelings you can focus on. There are feelings of pleasure, feelings of pain, neither-pleasure-nor-pain. There are feelings that are said to be worldly feelings, feelings that are not-worldly feelings or feelings not of the flesh. And it reads just like a list. These are all the different kinds of feelings that could come and go. Some people read that as meaning you just watch them come and go, willy-nilly.

But those feelings that are not worldly, or feelings that are not-of-the-flesh, don’t just come and go on their own. You have to give rise to them. For instance, a pain not of the flesh is the mental pain you feel when you think about how you want to attain the goal that other people have attained, but you’re not there yet. That kind of feeling doesn’t just come on its own. You have to cultivate it. The same with pleasures not-of-the-flesh, or feelings of neither-pleasure-nor-pain not-of-the-flesh: Those are the feelings that come from getting the mind in concentration. And that requires that you be intent on doing this.

Again, there are people who warn that if you try to get the mind into concentration, there’s going to be a sense of self doing the concentration, or the sense of self that’s going to benefit from the concentration—as if, somehow, that tainted the practice. It doesn’t.

The sense of self that wants to do the concentration, you want to train that. The sense of self that wants to experience the bliss and ease and gain the discernment that can come from concentration, you want to cultivate that, too. The sense of you who’s watching over this and can perfect this skill: All these are part of the path. You let them go when the path has done its work, but you hold onto them to do the work.

So, you want to get out of prison. Don’t believe the people who say, “Hey, the prison is okay. Learn to be content. Your awareness of the prison is an awakened kind of awareness. They give you free food, you’ve got free shelter, free clothing, free room and board.” If you satisfy yourself with that, you’re miserable. You let yourself stay trapped when there’s freedom outside.

And the Buddha’s showing you: This is how you get out. This is how you escape. It’s something you have to do yourself—by being truthful, by being honest, by being observant. He shows the way, and then you develop the mental qualities needed to get there. And to whatever extent a desire is needed to do that, cultivate that desire. Then, when you get out, you won’t need that desire anymore. You can put it aside.

Think of the image of Ven. Ananda in the park. A brahman came to see him and asked him, “This path that you’re following, where does it lead?” Ananda replied, “One of the things it leads to is to the end of desire, to the end of passion.” “How do you do that?” Ananda described the four bases for success, starting with desire: concentration based on desire, and the fabrications of the right effort.

The brahman said, “Well, in that case, it’s going to be impossible. How can you use desire to put an end to desire?” And Ananda said, “I’ll ask you some questions. Before you came to this park, did you want to come?” “Yes.” “Now that you’re here, where is the desire to come here?” “Well, it’s gone, because I’ve already arrived.” In the same way, you use desire to get to the end of desire.

But you have to use it right. You have to be observant and meticulous, focused on each step as it has to come, and not get discouraged with setbacks. Keep on going. The way out is there. If you look carefully enough and consistently enough, you’ll find it.